Whitney Houston

Singer Whitney Houston performs at the pre-Grammy gala & salute to industry icons with Clive Davis honoring David Geffen, Sunday, Feb. 13, 2011, in Beverly ...

One of the greatest performers the world had seen was dead before her mentor’s annual gala, and the party goes on anyway as her body lies in her room upstairs. Onstage, Clive did what he does best—he reminded the room of all that Whitney had accomplished and all she had inspired with that voice. She would be exalted, not reminded of what she could no longer do—or what she no longer achieved—but of who she inspired and the lives she changed with her music. I have still never reconciled the thought of her body resting in her room—the gown she would never wear off in the distance—as Clive’s party continued. There was a sadness in her eyes that forever imprinted itself on my memory when I got the call that she was dead. I was still learning the depths of privilege I had as a reporter for the Los Angeles Times as it related to celebrity access, but I think more than anything Whitney was genuinely enthused to see a group of young Black journalists standing together who were excited to see her and had zero judgment on display. She had spent much of her time in L.A. partying and finding herself on the blogs. She was now a gorgeous teenager who had weathered the weight of fame’s orbit and all the tabloid drama that came with having superstar parents who struggled with addiction and a toxic codependence. I was given the last slot of the day because I had requested (well, begged) for maximum time with Brandy and Monica. I balanced my notebook with a Flip cam to capture the first full run-through the ladies did with the entire band. And I can just see her going back to Alpharetta and waking up in the morning—or more likely, in the afternoon—with no reason to get out of bed and nothing on the horizon.” I was arm’s length from these women who had meant so much to me and my love of R&B and pop music, but before me was a woman who appeared so lost in her addiction that she didn’t even have the frame of mind to reconsider showing up to a room crowded with news crews or the ability to see how she was being received by a room of people. At Clive’s gala, Whitney was always the belle of the ball.