Tommy Dorfman

Tommy Dorfman: who is 13 Reasons Why's Ryan Shaver, is she engaged again, what happened with her ex husband? The actress, who is best known for her role in ...

I had this unresolved, unexplored thing." Dorfman also revealed that she chose to keep her birth name of Tommy as she feels "very connected" to it because it honours her mother’s brother who died when she was only a month old. Dorfman did not give any further details about why she and Zurkulen had split up, but she did tell Bilson that the pair, who had been together for nine years overall when they separated, decided to "redefine our relationship as friends." She revealed in an interview with Time that she had already been "privately identifying and living as a woman" for almost a year. Dorfman did also say that she was excited to find "the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with" and said that the romance has been "very affirming." She only said that her future wife is a “cis woman”, and also referred to her as a “just a gay girl”.

"13 Reasons Why" alum Tommy Dorman told Rachel Bilson about her engagement to a "gay girl" she did not name, calling their romance "very affirming."

“When it came to anything around dysphoria or gender or stuff that had already been really present, I was like, ‘Nope, that’s not for now.'” “I love him so much, but we’ve been learning that as a trans woman, what I’m interested in is not necessarily reflected in a gay man.” “I think because [of] my work being so tied to my body and face and, like, identity … Some days I feel like I’m 14. “I had this unresolved, unexplored thing. “It’s wild to be 29 and going through puberty again.

'13 Reasons Why' star Tommy Dorfman has said she would have "transitioned a lot sooner" if she hadn't landed a role on the Netflix drama.

So I kept, on Instagram, a diaristic time capsule instead – one that shows a body living in a more fluid space.” “I think if I hadn’t booked that job I would have transitioned a lot sooner. “Coming out is always viewed as this grand reveal, but I was never not out.

Tommy — who played Ryan Shaver in the popular Netflix series — reintroduced herself as a transgender woman in July of last year.

[Submit it here](https://tips.buzzfeed.com) [Stephanie Soteriou](/author/stephaniesoteriou) at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]).

In conversation with Rachel Bilson, Dorfman said her new fiancée is a cis-woman who she jovially described as “just a gay girl”

I love him so much, but we’ve been learning that as a trans woman, what I’m interested in is not necessarily reflected in a gay man.” I had this unresolved, unexplored thing. “As a result of that shift, the types of romantic partnerships I seek out are different.

13 Reasons Why actor Tommy Dorfman has announced her engagement to her girlfriend, whose identity remains unknown.

Then she was out of town and we FaceTimed and she walked me through it”. All the universal feelings of being in love that are probably the same.” She told Bilson that her fiancée is one of the very first women she’s been with “in a very long time”, and that she’d begun to feel attracted to women “in a way that I hadn’t really been aware of since high school”. Also not safe, like, being in love is so scary. [as a woman](https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2022/05/03/tommy-dorfman-met-gala-trans/), having made a transition medically,” she explained at the time. She told Bilson that she and Zurkuhlen wanted to use their breakup as a way to “redefine our relationship as friends” after she came out as trans.

The '13 Reasons Why' actress - who came out as transgender in July 2021 and divorced from ex-husband Peter Zurkuhlen earlier this year - is staying coy about ...

Dorfman publicly clarified her gender identity in July 2021 and said in an interview that she had been living as a trans woman for about a year.

“I was really scared to admit that I was perhaps attracted to women because I felt I had such safe relationships with all the women in my life because they thought of me as a gay man. In my head, I was like: ’Oh no, if I transition, do I tell people that I might just be a lesbian or bisexual? She was adamant, however, that her announcement not be deemed a “coming out.” Later in her “Broad Ideas” chat, Dorfman also confirmed that she’d recently gotten engaged. I also think I made decisions that were just not aligned with who I really was or what I wanted, but out of fear.” “So when it came to anything around dysphoria or gender or stuff that had already been really present, I was like: ‘Nope, that’s not for now.

Who is Tommy Dorfman's fiancé? The star of '13 Reasons Why,' 'Insatiable,' and other hit shows announced her engagement on Aug. 15, 2022.

"And I think I also made decisions that were just not aligned with who I really was and who I really wanted but out of fear. “So when it came to anything around dysphoria or gender and stuff that had already been present I was like, 'Nope that’s not for now,'" she added. "In those early years of working, I was just trying to understand. "I got stuck in time for a minute," she said. "I was like, 'This is the year that I’m going to go on some dates with girls and feel that out again and not feel ashamed about it,'" she said. Tommy shared a few details about her new relationship with her fiancé with Broad Ideas hosts Rachel Bilson and Olivia Allen.

I fell in love with someone who doesn't fetishize me,” said “13 Reasons Why” star Tommy Dorfman, who recently reintroduced herself as a trans woman.

“I made decisions that were just not aligned with how I really was or what I wanted — but out of fear.” “I kind of got stuck in time for a minute ... If not for her professional commitment to that show, Dorfman said, she “would’ve started transitioning a lot sooner.” “She knew how, so she did it for me the first time,” Dorfman said. It turns out “those were the people who cared the least.” so much because I was so insular and private during my transition that I wasn’t out in the world.

'13 Reasons Why' star Tommy Dorfman talks about her new fiance and how she might have transitioned earlier if she didn't book her role on the Netflix ...

I feel how I think I was always supposed to feel.” I felt it hit, and I was like, ‘Let’s ride,’” she explained. Dorfman, who has chronicled her transition on social media, previously said her decision was spurred during the pandemic following a Calvin Klein campaign in New York for Pride. I made decisions that were just not aligned with how I really was or what I wanted — but out of fear.” “And as the testosterone leaves my body, I feel so much better. She compares the experience to her first year of sobriety while explaining that at least part of why she decided to transition only just last year was due in part to her work in Hollywood, and more specifically, her role on 13 Reasons Why. Then it was like, boom!” “I think if I hadn’t booked that job I would have transitioned a lot sooner,” Dorfman explained. That’s weird.’ The acting was the only way I could feel things until I started transitioning. “For me, I always felt like other people had a guidebook for life that I just did not [have],” she continued. During the conversation, Dorfman — who divorced from her husband of six years, Peter Zurkuhlen, last year — confirmed she is engaged to a woman, though she did not identify her. “I can sleep now.

As Dorfman shared on the podcast hosted by The OC's Rachel Bilson, she didn't feel like it was the right time to transition while starring in the show out of “ ...

You can watch all seasons of 13 Reasons Why and the new Umbrella Academy season with a [Netflix subscription](https://www.cinemablend.com/streaming-news/netflix-subscription-the-plans-the-price-and-whats-included). However, once the show ended, Dorfman could finally move on and [do new things like the rest of the 13 Reasons Why cast](https://www.cinemablend.com/television/2548359/what-netflixs-13-reasons-why-cast-is-doing-next). Trans actor Elliot Page came out months prior to Tommy Dorfman with The Umbrella Academy series still in full swing. As the actress continues to remain authentic about her identity and her journey thus far, Dorfman spoke to how starring in 13 Reasons Why actually affected her transition. [faced a number of controversies over the years](https://www.cinemablend.com/television/2548295/a-guide-to-13-reasons-why-controversies-including-season-4), a time in her life when she felt somewhat “stuck in time” because so much of her focus was on being part of the series. At the same time, Dorfman also got honest with these words:

"13 Reasons Why" actor Tommy Dorfman says she's engaged and "in love."

The star said that when she and her fiancée first met, they would initially send each other tons of songs — at least one of which was by Blossom Dearie, a popular jazz musician in the late 1950s and 1960s. “I probably got married for the first time, now reflecting on it, for safety," she said in the podcast. I view today as a reintroduction to me as a woman, having made a transition medically. Today is about clarity: I am a trans woman,” she explained. The couple separated in June 2021, according to the filing. News](https://www.eonline.com/news/1318354/tommy-dorfman-and-husband-peter-zurkuhlen-divorcing-after-5-years-of-marriage) at the time.

'13 Reasons Why' star Tommy Dorfman opened up to Rachel Bilson about her career affected her transition.

And now she's able to integrate her gender and her work; she appears in Lena Dunham's upcoming feature, Sharp Stick, in her first female role. “When it came to anything around dysphoria or gender or stuff that had already been really present, I was like: ‘Nope, that’s not for now. For Tommy Dorfman, a role on the hit Netflix drama 13 Reasons Why was a career boon but a personal challenge.

The actress didn't reveal much about her partner, though, opting to identify her fiancée solely as “a gay girl” and an Aries. “I fell in love with someone who ...

“In my head, I was like 'Oh no, if I transition, do I tell people that I might just be a lesbian or bisexual, are any of my girlfriends ever going to trust me again.” I always had that feeling.” But upon transition, she realized that she is “totally meant for this body and meant for this time and meant for this world.' I just was wearing a sweater that was three sizes too small — for 28 years,” which is an apt description of dysphoria if ever we’ve heard one. [announced in February](https://people.com/tv/tommy-dorfman-and-husband-divorcing-5-years-marriage-breakup/). [In her own words,](https://www.tiktok.com/@tommy.dorfman/video/7087308414417784107?_d=secCgYIASAHKAESPgo8EEm8EwQazc809JYWnV78XUBOeoYwcM3DkXXAINT42k7k8KiIAcEYyPETg2CKcUQrXqP%2F6UbJRf3W5k40GgA%3D&_r=1&checksum=490f36d1069d48b1a4beb231451cf8d7867e8de6e4af1d6c6a99ef919f695bf6&is_from_webapp=v1&item_id=7087308414417784107&language=en&preview_pb=0&sec_user_id=MS4wLjABAAAA_bf_vD1WwbEOSDPKqH6WQ60gt7_-48p3G3hNLM1I59aEUKT1PlFff9pNfepXjkMU&share_app_id=1233&share_item_id=7087308414417784107&share_link_id=D63D0CCB-EA33-4E78-87F8-740F0AD85F59&source=h5_m×tamp=1650331237&tt_from=copy&u_code=d3k9aem9aefkm0&user_id=6637664796416704517&utm_campaign=client_share&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=copy) she went from identifying as a gay man to a nonbinary person to a straight trans woman to a trans lesbian. “If I hadn’t booked that job, I would have started transitioning a lot sooner,” Dorfman said. The actress didn’t reveal much about her partner, though, opting to identify her fiancée solely as “a gay girl” and an Aries.

The 30-year-old actor starred as classmate Ryan Shaver in the 2017 series, which follows the aftermath of high-schooler Hannah Baker's (Katherine Langford) ...

[Terms of use,](https://www.independent.co.uk/service/user-policies-a6184151.html) [Cookie policy](https://www.independent.co.uk/service/cookie-policy-a6184186.html) and [Privacy notice.](https://www.independent.co.uk/service/privacy-policy-a6184181.html) Today is about clarity: I am a trans woman. [Privacy policy](https://policies.google.com/privacy?hl=en) and [Terms of service](https://policies.google.com/terms?hl=en) apply. “I think if I hadn’t booked that job I would have transitioned a lot sooner,” she reflected. “Coming out is always viewed as this grand reveal, but I was never not out. My pronouns are she/her. [Dorfman reintroduced herself as a trans woman in July 2021](https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/tommy-dorfman-trans-13-reasons-why-b1888828.html) in a [Time](https://time.com/6081874/tommy-dorfman-interview/) interview with author Torrey Peters.

'13 Reasons Why' star Tommy Dorfman opened up to Rachel Bilson about her career affected her transition.

[Wednesday Addams series starring Catherine Zeta-Jones releases first look, and our inner teenage goth is screaming](/article/wednesday-addams-series-netflix-cast-plot-trailer-date-news) And now, she's able to integrate her gender and her work; she appears in [Lena Dunham](https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/topic/lena-dunham)'s upcoming feature Sharp Stick in her first female role. [Glamour.com](https://www.glamour.com/story/tommy-dorfman-explained-how-13-reasons-why-delayed-her-transition). Speaking to Rachel Bilson on a recent episode of Bilson's podcast, the actor explained, "For me, I feel like I kind of got stuck in time for a minute…when it came to anything around dysphoria or gender or stuff that had already been really present, I was like: ‘Nope, that’s not for now. “I think if I hadn’t booked that job, I would’ve started transitioning a lot sooner. In the series, Dorfman played Ryan Shaver, a cis, gay male teen.

Actress Tommy Dorfman opens up about how being cast as Ryan Shaver in 13 Reasons Why delayed her transition.

"I felt it hit, and I was like, 'Let's ride.' And as the testosterone leaves my body, I feel so much better. "Two weeks into having estrogen in my body, I was like, 'Oh.' It felt like I sank into the earth and was grounded. I feel how I think I was always supposed to feel." I think because of my work being so tied to my body and face and identify, or whatever [a character] identified as, it delayed some of my growth and some of my maturation in my 20s.” "[Transitioning was] very similar to my first year of sobriety," she said of her first year living as a transgender woman. "For me, I always felt like other people had a guidebook for life that I just did not [have]," she continued.